Dear Coaches Coaching Coaches
Dear coaches coaching coaches,
Hi! I’m Miriam. And I’ve wanted to single handedly ruin your practice. Yup. It’s true!
I think of it as my Jesus flipping tables moment.
I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, but I wouldn’t mind if your entire business imploded and you spun into a deep state of despair.
Don’t worry. You’d make it out. It would be your actual come up story. It would be real. It would be more real than the story you regurgitate on stage today.
I want you to stop manipulating people. I want you to stop drilling into their pain points 😩 that fact that you know what those two words mean, disgusts me. I didn’t know them until I met you.
I want you to stop telling people they have blind spots and only you can see them.
I want you to stop trying to convince people that you’re the solution to all of their problems.
I want you to stop leading people out of their bodies in a meditation and then asking “as you’re on your death bed, do you regret not hiring me?”
Yes! ☝🏼 that ACTUALLY happened at a live $97 in person event. I know you would never… but can we really be so sure?
Oh maybe your event was free with a $300,000 upsell. Again, I didn’t know the word “upsell” until I met you.
I didn’t know you practiced NLP tactics with your hands and your words. By now I should know. Or is it “buy now”
Stop getting people into peek states and then ask for their 16 digit credit card number in the back of the room. “Expiration and CVC please”
Stop saying it’s a nurture sequence when we all know it’s a funnel. No one wants to be funneled.
You ask me what my conversion rates are. I say, “I don’t know what you mean.”
You laugh and explain, “how many people do you talk to that end up becoming clients?”
I said, “oh 100%.”
You laugh again. As though you think I’m misunderstanding and you say “30% is really good.”
I say “Ya, it’s 100%. I don’t talk to anyone and ask them to work with me unless I actually feel like it’s true.”
You’re bewildered and don’t know what to do with me. I may have shaken Satan’s Apple Cart on that response.
How much is this costing me you ask? What’s it costing me to not hire you? What’s the gap between my deepest pain point and my imaged best life costing me?
Again, another question I couldn’t answer. It’s not costing me anything.
What happens when it’s just not aligned for someone to keep working with you?
Oh, they can continue to pay and show up to calls… ‘if they want.’
Which they won’t because they just out grew you and your bullshit. But you still want their money.
Why can’t it just be done? Why don’t you honor the energy that you’re always speaking about?
Oh because you had them sign a contract!
What happens if they don’t pay?
Oh you take them to collections!
Six months ago, you said it “so soul aligned” to work together. What happened? Is it only aligned when you’re securing a bag?
If you’re so keen on reading energy and working with spiritual teachers then wouldn’t you know things were closing up?
Why can’t you go without your cabal tokens? Don’t YOU trust?
When I refused your work you told me “you must not want it bad enough”
And when I said “you’re right, I don’t.” the call dropped.
Coaches coaching coaches I still see you. I remember what you said to me.
You’re all playing into archetypes that will implode. As more people continue to see through your scripts and manipulation, the more free we become from your practice.
So in my attempt to single handedly take down the coaching industry… I teach people to spot fuckers like you!