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"Nobody Gets Me."

The End of Spiritual Shame


David Hrostoski

"Nobody Gets Me.”

Every spiritual person has felt some iteration of this statement.


It’s that lingering feeling that you’re just too different to be fully accepted here on Earth.


Maybe the world will never understand.


And even if the world eventually catches up to the spiritual downloads you’re getting today, by then, you’ll be even further down the rabbit holes of truth and embodiment.


Will the world ever really embrace who you are, as you are?


Will the world ever “get you?”


We call this nagging feeling of loneliness, “Spiritual Shame.”


What is Spiritual Shame?


Culturally, we’ve defined shame as a feeling of wrongness.


While that definition can be useful in navigating pockets of the emotion, it starts to break down when we enter the realm of what we call The Cutting Edge.


So we define shame a little differently:


“Shame is a biological warning of deviance.”


Shame isn’t here to tell us we’re wrong. Through our spiritual exploration, we’ve discovered deeper layers of truth about worldview and perspective that help highlight how there is no right and wrong—only difference.


So our feelings of shame can’t be warnings of our “wrongness”—they’re warnings of our deviance.


“I’m different.”


In the wild, as an early species, we learned to avoid that difference. 


It was important enough for our survival and well-being to develop a complex and hard-hitting emotional warning system.


Maybe if we were too different, we risked being outcast and shunned by those around us—also risking our safety and security within the tribal network.


Regardless, that feeling of shame worked its way into our genetic code, and fires whenever we’re deviating from the norm.


Spiritual Shame is that exact same biological response.


Except now, in the modern world, we’re called to do just that—defy norms and press into whole new frontiers of spiritual embodiment.


Soul calls us forward into something entirely new (different).


Through the echo chamber of our genetic code, shame whispers, “Never be different.”


And at the same time, bubbling up within us, our soul calls us forward: 


“Pave a new path for the future of your species. The time is now.”


Shame is an old biological response that pushes in the exact opposite direction of our soul’s deepest calling.



Knowing Your Role Here


At The Second Paradigm, we’ve identified three primary collective roles that help bring this larger picture into focus:


Tradition, Culture, and The Cutting Edge.


Tradition is exactly what it sounds like. It’s primary role is to preserve what works by fully vetting and challenging anything new.


By challenging the new, Tradition ensures that the trailblazers of our collective aren’t leading us Into untested, ineffective ways of being.


Tradition is what ensures that when we wake up tomorrow, the dollar in our coat pocket will still be worth something.


On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we have The Cutting Edge.


Wherever they go, The Cutting Edge finds ways to improve what’s there.


Their values and interests compel them to push the edges of their fields.


As spiritual seekers, many of us have entered the frontiers of Psychology, Philosophy, Theology, Sociology, and more—using our deep inner wisdom as a guide toward new discovery.


As Tradition preserves the structure of society and The Cutting Edge pushes the edges of what’s possible, Culture fills the gap.


Culture takes what’s on the Cutting Edge and continues to bring it into Tradition through what’s often a long period of time.


Culture’s role is to ground The Cutting Edge into practicality and what’s already here.


During this process, truths get watered down, skewed, and modified—but in the end, Tradition moves forward and toward these new frontiers.


Look at any of the large cultural movements of the past, and you’ll find all three pieces of this larger collective puzzle.


The philosophical and idealistic Cutting Edge brings radical new ideas into the public awareness.


Over a period of many years, Culture rises in uproar and challenges every aspect of society that conflicts with these new truths. Protesters flood the streets, new hashtags are made, and the slow crawl of collective-wide change begins.


After many waves of the same Cultural message being repeated and modified to every thinkable aspect of society, Tradition acknowledges this change as a welcome (and working) part of civilization.


Through time, new truths move from The Cutting Edge, through Culture, and into Tradition.


Knowing this, helps put this entire puzzle into perspective.

Embracing Your Role Here


One of the toughest aspects of living a spiritual life today is that sense of Spiritual Shame.


But knowing your role in The Cutting Edge helps to embrace all that comes with it.


Yes, you’re deviant. 


And your body is terrified of that.


But isn’t that the very thing you came here to do?


Shame is just a remnant of our biological history. It’s not here to tell us we’re wrong. It’s to protect us from being different.


It’s a light on the dashboard of our awareness.


With context, comes a layer of peace that was impossible before.


Because, in truth, that warning light isn’t designed for the task at hand.


In a weird way, it can even be seen as a signal that we’re on the right track—that we’re genuinely paving new paths for our collective future.


Overcoming biological signals isn’t always an easy process.


But as with anything, awareness is the first step.


When the warning light of Spiritual Shame inevitably flairs up on our path forward, we can turn inward and say to our bodies, “Thank you for this warning. But really, we’re safe. I promise.”


The feeling may not go away entirely, but it doesn’t have to have control over our lives.


Over time, biology adapts.


Maybe one day, that sense of shame will resolve entirely.


And until then, we can use this expanded awareness of our past and our role here on this planet, to step forward into who we truly came here to be.


The Cutting Edge, liberated from the grips of Spiritual Shame.

Did you love this post?


You can learn more in our The End of Spiritual Shame Mini-Course—including the full doc and 3 hours of recorded teachings.


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These ideas were taken from our channeled document, “The End of Spiritual Shame."

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The Second Paradigm | Where Soul Makes Sense, Grounded Spirituality, Soul-Aligned Business, David Hrostoski and Miriam Wagoner